Today I Faded


Woke up barely breathing,

my body a heavy stone,

fainted in the silence,

alone and so unknown.

I ate, not counting,

no binge to blame,

guilt crawled inside me,

whispered all my shame.

So I purged the weight away,

emptied what I feared,

stepped on the scale and found,

four pounds disappeared. 

A fragile victory,

a war beneath my skin,

losing but still fighting,

trapped deep within.

Fading with each heartbeat,

clutching control’s thread,

today I almost broke,

but I’m still not dead.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

𝟕- 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧

 ✧ Rules for My 7-Day Diet Plan 1. No eating before 12 PM. Hunger is discipline. No exceptions. 2. Only two meals per day. Meal 1 between 12–2 PM. Meal 2 between 5–6 PM. No snacks unless absolute hunger crisis. 3. Stick to lean protein, low-carb veggies, and minimal fruit. No processed foods, no sugar, no bread, no pasta. 4. Drink at least 2.5–3 liters of water daily. Add lemon  slices to curb appetite. 5. Take supplements exactly as planned. ACD , chromium, glucomannan, rhodiola, L-theanine, probiotics, and digestive enzymes.(optional) 6. No dairy except plain Greek yogurt (optional). No milk, cream, or cheese. 7. No snacking, unless it’s sugar-free jello, diet soda,  pickles, or unsweetened tea/coffee  No exceptions. 8. Move daily: walk fasted for 30–45 minutes or do light bodyweight exercises. 9. Use laxatives when needed to stay “clean.” 10. Log everything you eat and drink. Accountability is power. 11. Listen to your b...
Read more

Feeding My Fading Obsession

Image
“Feeding My Fading Obsession” — a devotion to Mia Feeding my fading obsession, bite after bite, then burn. You found me at rock bottom, and taught me how to return. You said, “Eat, my love — just don’t let it stay,” and I listened, throat raw from every prayer flushed in porcelain confession. I wasn’t strong enough for Ana, but you — you let me cheat. A secret cycle of silence, where pain tasted sweet. I learned to count the exits, to smile through the feast, to disappear by morning though I looked like a beast. You held my hair and heart, as I knelt in quiet war, fingers down my throat like promises, i never meant to keep anymore. after every binge and break. You told me I was worthless, but promised I could fake. My body: a battleground. My fingers: sacred tools. My hunger: the only constant in a world of broken rules. Fading to perfection, with every purge, I pray. This sickness is my savior it washes shame away. My faithful obsession, my keeper, my sin. You leave me hollow, and I c...
Read more

Blessing in Disguise

Image
  I’ve been purging for five years. My teeth are yellow no matter how well I take care of them - the acid always wins. My gums bleed sometimes. My throat stings when I laugh too hard. I get lightheaded when I get up too fast. I can’t sleep - not because I’m not tired, but because hunger is louder than exhaustion. I’m always freezing. And my hair? It’s thinner than it used to be. I find strands on my pillow, in the sink, on my clothes. But I don’t care if it hurts , I want a perfect body. Mia stole my warmth, my sleep, my peace. But she gave me comfort in discipline and control. It’s a blessing in disguise, even if it kills me.
Read more